Monday, June 30, 2014

Life Exposes Us All

We've all made mistakes.  Oh yeah.  We have.  We've all been on both sides of the "hurt" line in the sand.

My heart aches for those I've ever hurt.  I know the feeling.  It's not good.  Life goes both ways.  Good and bad.  Happy and sad. Up and down.  Been there many times.

I've been exposed.  More than once.  My weaknesses are on display for all to see.  I thank God for bringing those people into my life who have forced me to take a hard look in the mirror throughout my life.  I'm not always happy with what I see.  I'm not perfect and never will be.  

To those I've hurt, I sincerely apologize.  To those who've hurt me, I sincerely forgive.  My time is short, and it's time to be brutally honest, see my flaws, and put my life in the hands of God.

It's interesting how life plays out.  We all have a dark side, a Shadow.  For the most part, I've kept it at bay.  That isn't necessarily the best way to approach it.  As I drove on the highway yesterday, I felt a stabbing emotional pain.  All the pain I've ever inflicted, and all the pain I've ever experienced.  I've read that when we pass on, the first thing our soul feels is all the pain we've inflicted and experienced.  It felt like that yesterday, and it was too much to bear.  There was only one thing to do.  I knew it immediately.  Simply ask God to take it away.  Put everything in my life in the hands of God.  Let the power of God lead me through what remains of my life.  I feel like a different person, a lighter person.  A heavy burden has been supernaturally lifted.  A burden I thought I could deal with alone, until I realized I couldn't any longer. It got to the point where periods of darkness would occasionally overtake me.  I was bullied and damaged as a child requiring hospitalization for a few weeks, and that pain never really went away.  It was an ugly time in my life.  I truly believe that was at the root of much of the darkness I've experienced off and on since.  God was calling me yesterday, and I heard the call.  Thankfully.  I know there will be a time when I can help others, and show them that their burdens can be lifted too.  If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.  

There's always a brighter future, however long or short it may be.  We can make it happen.  And sometimes a deeper low precedes a higher high.

This post was in large part inspired by a friend who is battling depression.  I very much admire the strength displayed by this person.

Peace, love and blessings . . .