Sunday, July 6, 2014

Aftermath of Childhood Bullying

Bullied as a child of seven, and hospitalized a few weeks.  Feeling like there was no way out.  Trying to fight back didn't work.  The bullying just became more vicious, more violent.  These were also seven year olds.  How can that happen?  Sadly, it does, and I was right there to experience it at its worst.  

After being released from the hospital, driving back to that small town, I tried not to cry.  My mother and father in the front seat, me in the back.  I didn't say a word.  It felt like I was going back to hell on earth.  All I wanted was to return to my old neighbourhood where I had spent the first seven years of my life.  Everything was safe there.  But this new place was awful for me.  No friends, people abusing me physically and verbally for no reason, other than I was the new kid and not one of "them".  An easy target for them.

I'm so glad I didn't grow up to become a bully.  Many of those bullied do exactly that.  It's how they express the rage they feel.  I've known some and seen it happen.  God knows I'd never want to hurt anyone.  I'm as peaceful a person as you'll find.  I wouldn't hurt a soul.  Would never lay a hand on another human being, unless assaulted and in self-defense.  But that's never happened, thank goodness.  Children need to be cherished and protected, not traumatized by bullying, physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, poverty, poor parenting.  It goes on and on.  The way we allow children to be damaged, it's shameful.  I don't remember ever being suicidal as a result of my experience.  Perhaps I was too young.  As we know, there have been teenage suicides resulting from bullying.  It's absolutely deplorable that this can happen.  Whenever I hear of one, I literally cry.  My heart is in anguish.  It makes me feel like throwing up, and once I did.  It stays with me for days when I hear or read of a suicide due to bullying.  It takes me back with vivid memories.  So unnecessary, such a waste of a young life.

God has taken me under his wing.  I'll do whatever he has in store for me.  It may involve some kind of anti-bullying aspect.  We'll see.  I'm just so happy that I heard God's voice, and realized it was seriously time to listen.  He sent someone to inspire me, and the emotional pain to force me to do something constructive about it.  My spirit has been cleansed by His grace.  I plan to keep my part of the bargain.

Peace, love and blessings . . .


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