It's been a week since I was confronted with such emotional pain, it was overwhelming. If that's Hell, I don't want it. It was as if God was saying, Are you listening to me now? I wanted relief so badly. It was terrible. I could hardly breathe. I asked God to lessen my burden. God, I will do whatever you want me to do.
As I stated in my previous blog, I was bullied as a child, verbally abused, and beaten up. I was hospitalized for a period of time. I realize now that I never really got over it. I tried to push it aside, and for the most part, I was successful. But in the last year, it became more and more present in my thoughts. It began to wear on me emotionally. It came to a head last week, and I asked God for help. A friend asked me yesterday, why didn't you deal with this years ago? I had no answer, except that I thought it was under control for the most part. I didn't talk to anyone about it. I'm a person who thinks he can deal with anything. The last year has taught me that some things are bigger than us. We sometimes need help. That was me.
My message is, never lose hope. There is an answer. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever see myself writing about this in my blog. But it was meant to happen for a reason. I understand that completely. Perhaps my experiences will resonate with someone who needs help. Childhood trauma is devastating in many cases, and often never really goes away. But there is help. Therapy can be tremendously helpful for many over time. Medication can be helpful. Spiritual counselling helps many. Never lose hope, because help is available.
Peace, love and blessings . . .