Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Last Day

Two weeks ago, while having lunch with a friend, we somehow got onto the topic of our last day, and what it might be like, and what kinds of thoughts and feelings we'd have, knowing that this is it . . . Realistically, most of us won't know our last day is our last day, because death can often be very sudden . . . However, we were talking in theoretical terms . . .  And by the way, this topic was not morbid or depressing in any way . . . It was actually very enlightening . . .

A good chunk of it was spent talking about relationships, and how we'd hope that we would have those in order, just as we'd hope to have financial affairs in order . . . What really struck me though was a comment he made . . .  He said, I hope that I'll be back on good terms with person A and person B . . .  Apparently, there are two people he's estranged from, one a family member and one a former friend . . . Without getting into details, he felt he is not entirely to blame for these two relationships going south, but at least partly . . .  So, he's wondering if there's any hope in patching things up, and re-establishing the relationships?  He truly does want to, but seems to be feeling fear that if he makes the first move, he'll be rejected, or perhaps perceived as weak by the other parties . . . In other words, it's like a game of relationship chicken, and let's see who's weak enough to blink first . . .  After listening to him articulating his thoughts, I responded that he should put the fear aside and listen to his heart, listen to the Voice . . . He's a spiritual person, and knew exactly what I was saying . . .  And really, if he makes overtures and they're rejected, then he knows there's no hope . .  .  It's done . . . And if someone perceives him as weak for reaching out first, then so be it . . . But, he would know within himself that it takes strength, not weakness, to reach out . . . And really, don't we all tend to place too much emphasis on what others might think?  And finally, I said to him, What if they're feeling the same thing you are, but don't have the strength to reach out?  In that case, it's up to you to do it . . .  It's the only way to find out if differences can be resolved . . . Someone has to jump in feet first, right?

Two personal anecdotes . . .  Two years ago I had a falling out with a friend . . . As we both look back, it was silly . . . But there were some hard feelings on both sides . . . After a while, I just thought, Screw this . . .  It's ridiculous what's happening . . .  I called him and apologized for my part, and eventually he did the same . . . And he said, I'm glad you called, because I was having similar thoughts . . .  But if I hadn't called, would he have called me?  I can't say for sure, but I doubt it . . . Now, we're closer than ever, but if someone hadn't made the first move, that wouldn't be the case . . .  And we'd both be the losers in that case . . .

The second thing is that in my extended family, there is a mother and a daughter who are estranged, and have been for ten years . . . They're both stubborn, and in this case, there's blame falling on both sides . . .  My guess is they'll never resolve their issues, mostly because each feels so strongly that if she reaches out first, it will be seen as weakness . . . But I do know that at some point, they'll realize what they've missed and deep regret will set in . . .  I'm on good terms with both of them, and this whole thing is terribly sad to watch . . .  Especially since there are grandchildren, who the mother has never seen . . .  I know, it seems unimaginable, doesn't it? 

Are you still with me? lol  This is a bit longer than I thought it would be . . .  However, the point is this . . . If there's someone you've been thinking about reaching out to, or wanting to reach out to, do it . . . Put fear and ego aside, and focus on the upside . . .  The upside could be huge!  The potential positive impact on two lives can't be measured . . .   If we let fear make decisions for us, life loses a lot of richness . . .

So, on my last day, I hope all my finances are in good shape and there's no mess for my loved ones to clean up . . . And, more importantly, I hope I don't have any regrets where people are concerned . . . No "I wish I'd reached out to this person or that person when I had the chance" . . . And no, "How could I have let that opportunity pass?" . . . 

My last day? Ouch!  That could be today!!  lol

Life is beautiful baby!

Peace and love . . .

Until next time . . .  Ciao!!


PS . . . Today CAN'T be the last, because I haven't had my hole in one yet!  But, I'll be on the course this afternoon . . .  :)

 

4 comments:

Green Eyed Frenchy said...

Great post! Egos.... we are so self-centered sometimes, making fools of ourselves!

Snake said...

Deconstructing the ego can be VERY hard . . . Thanks Frenchy for your comment! Ciao

Sandra said...

Great post Snake!

Snake said...

Thank you Sandra . . . Ciao