As stated in my profile, I'm full-out on a spiritual path . . . Without question, that quest will continue for the duration . . . Really, it's hard for me to fathom where I am and how it all came to this point . . . It's one of the things I'm grateful for, because life is beautiful baby!
Where did it begin? I'll say this . . . As far back as I can go, I've always felt different in some way from others . . . As a young child, one doesn't have the words or the experience to articulate that feeling . . . Growing into the teenage years, I KNEW I was different . . . Don't misunderstand though . . . On the surface, I was pretty typical . . . Wanted to be a fireman, cowboy, train engineer as a child . . . Good athlete, horny as hell, lusting after girls, having girlfriends, all the usual stuff of a teenage male . . . But inside, I was beginning to understand what was different . . . I had strong spiritual inclinations, although no such religious inclinations . . . No interest in religion whatsoever, because I saw it as empty and offering me nothing . . . So, I read some things here and there, but really didn't know which direction to go . . . I was all over the place and confused, didn't know who to ask, or even what to ask if I had known someone . . .
Then, in my third year of university, I met an individual through a mutual friend, and we began to carpool to and from the U . . . One day it was just he and I and he had a book he was reading . . . It was Autobiography of a Yogi . . . He was just finishing it, and talked about it . . . It was as if my brain exploded during that conversation, because I knew immediately that was what I was looking for, what I needed, something to propel me forward . . . Finally! I read the book, and intuitively felt that this is the launching pad for me . . . It provided some direction, the right thing at the right time . . . Beginning to explore other areas and books, I felt very much "at home" in that pursuit . . . I began to meditate, which was a huge factor and motivated me further . . .
However, it wasn't a smooth rise to the top . . . Not at all! Multiple times over the years, I'd step away, then be pulled back to the path . . . Now I look back and see that stepping away, distancing myself from the path at times, was necessary . . . It was all so intense, and the dust had to settle . . . When it did, I'd jump back into it, and it would be even better, more intense still . . . And that's been the pattern . . . Make progress, step away, make more progress, and so on . . . In a way, that still happens today, but it's in a different way than it was then . . .
Ten years ago, I took a close look at what was happening . . . I felt somewhat frustrated that something was still missing . . . I cranked up the meditation, thinking that would help, and in a way, it did . . . Still, I knew something was lacking . . . But what? One day, it occurred to me in a flash of insight . . . I realized what was missing . . . What was missing was my commitment! I thought I was fully committed, but I wasn't . . . There were still some doubts that I wasn't acknowledging . . . There was only one route to go to move forward, and that was to fully commit . . . It was time to embrace everything about it, and resist nothing . . . To trust the Universe and go with it . . . Trust that I'll be given exactly what I need when I need it, or when I'm ready to handle it . . . Whatever IT is, it would come my way, right time, right place . . . In truth, I've been blindsided many times by the right thing at the right time in the right place . . . It's just freaking unbelievable how that constantly happens!
I'm really talking about blind trust . . . I TRUSTED . . . I was finally ready to . . . And Holy Mother, the Universe has delivered . . . What's different? Life has a flow and feeling of ease . . . Of course there are challenges, and let's face it, shit happens to everyone . . . But, when it does, there's no anxiety, no imagining worst case scenarios, no panic . . . I just deal with it, and it works out . . . It might not work out as I expect it to, because sometimes our expectations are not realistic . . . So, now I try to avoid expectations of outcomes . . . Just TRUST that all will be resolved in time, and it always is . . . Be in the moment as much as possible, and remember that life is beautiful baby . . . And listen to my intuition, the voice . . .
My feeling is that so many people are like me, craving something on a deeper level, but not knowing where to go, what to do, who to talk to . . . So, they repress it, or else, simply ignore it . . . And, I'm convinced there's also fear of the spiritual path . . . Will I lose my friends? Will romantic relationships suffer? Will sex decline? Will I be ostracized? Those are things that can inspire fear, because who wants their life turned upside down? What I can say is that we begin to recognize who is and who isn't valuable in our life . . . Yes, some of my relationships changed . . . Some ended . . . But it was all for the best, because those relationships either had to change or had to end, for my own benefit . . . I saw the real truth in things, MY truth, and I knew what I had to do . . . My perception of MANY things changed . . . Thoughts, emotions and behaviors change along with perceptions . . . Stress is reduced and happiness increases . . . But, it's the happiness generated within, at our core . . . We don't need external input to make us happy . . . That may ADD to happiness, but it doesn't create it . . . One wakes up to one's true nature! In turn, our vibration changes and that has a subtle but profound effect on people around us . . . We take that vibration everywhere we go . . .
I began to listen more closely to the voice of intuition, because I know that often that voice is from a higher source . . . That voice will speak to all of us if we're open to it and listen to it . . . I'm not any more special in that sense than anyone . . . The voice is there for everyone . . .
I'm well aware that some will read this and the reaction will be, Hey, this guy is a nutcase and where's that white jacket with the wrap-around sleeves? And never come back to this blog again . . . And that's OK! I'm not trying to please anyone, or fool anyone, or hurt anyone . . . My life is my life, my path is my path, and whoever doesn't understand it or like it, no big deal to me . . . But, someone may read this and see themselves in some part of this post, and then realize, they're not crazy and not alone and there are others who've experienced what they're experiencing . . . That's a beautiful thing, because it would mean that something I've written can help another find his or her way toward something that will benefit them at the very deepest levels of consciousness . . . Isn't that what this blogging thing is really about? To reach out and find common ground in some way, and learn or gain inspiration from each other?
There's more . . . MUCH more! I could go on and on about meditation, altered states, transformational experiences . . . And maybe at some point I'll talk about those things . . . When the time is right, Snake will know . . . The voice will tell me . . . :)
Life is beautiful baby!
Peace and love . . .
Until next time . . . Ciao!